Relevance Info Services, an
international publisher of quality information, approached me as an expert in
relationship issues with the question if I could evaluate a number of websites
that offer methods and tips for saving relationships and prevent a divorce. If
you are in serious trouble the situation demands a professional approach by
people that are very experienced in solving relationship issues.
This article is about what to do
after infidelity. An infidelity is a betrayal, a loss of trust. It is lying or
disloyalty to one s partner or lover. Infidelity may be sexual or emotional in
nature and typically involves a third person. Infidelity does not necessarily
involve physical separation, but can be characterized by emotional detachment
as well. Emotional detachment can happen when you lose your partner s trust or
if you lie to your partner or tell
them half-truths. Betraying your partner may
inflict a deep pain that is difficult to repair and sometimes causes
irrevocable damage to the relationship that hastens its end. If you are
married, an infidelity could lead to divorce. If you are in a committed
relationship, it could lead to a break up.
So what happens after infidelity
occurs in your relationship?
There are distinct stages a
relationship goes through in the wake of an infidelity.
1. Roller Coaster Stage. This is the
stage where strong emotions arise - emotions such as anger and self-blame
followed by a period of introspection and appreciation of the relationship. 2.
Moratorium Stage. This stage is a less emotional stage, at least for the person
who was cheated upon. 3. Trust
Building Stage. This
stage takes place when the couple has decided to stay together. During this
stage, the couple really tries to make their marriage work. They decide that a
continued commitment to their relationship is important and with time,
eventually forgiveness and trust can be achieved.
After an infidelity occurs, you may
still find yourself often doubting your partner. Don t lose heart, there is
hope. Here are some signs that may indicate if a person is still worthy of your
love.
Expresses sincere remorse and regret for cheating on you
Accepts total blame for his or her betrayal
Cuts off all contact with the third party
Shows a renewed appreciation, admiration, respect and devotion to only
you
Displays a willingness and openness to talk about what happened
Is willing and eager to go into marriage counseling with you
Additional signs that it might be
time to end the relationship are: your partner seems to be more agitated than
usual and seems to emotionally and physically withdraw from you. You might even
receive anonymous phone calls at the house. If several of these things are
occurring, then most probably your partner is cheating on you. If you can find
concrete evidence of this infidelity, then it s probably a good idea to break
up. A relationship that is based on lies, lacks trust and lack of commitment is
doomed to fail.
After an infidelity occurs, be aware
of any signs that may indicate your partner s willingness to stay and work it
out or clear intention to follow along the path of continued betrayal. Just be
careful and pay attention.
